Self Helping Yourself

Self Improvement Made Easy

stephen covey

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People – Habit 6: Synergize

by 1 Comment

Continuing our series on the Seven Habits.

Synergy has become one of those corporate wankspeak buzzwords that makes many people’s skin crawl. The sort of thing that you’d expect to come from annoying management consultants that charge big corporations staggering amounts of money to put together presentations full of blathering nonsense that just waste everyone’s time, and then are immediately forgotten because they contain zero meaningful content.

As demonstrated by management guru Weird Al Yankovic.

But remember that in 1989 when Seven Habits was released, Synergy wasn’t such a cliche. It only became a cliche because so many people recognized the value of Covey’s ideas. (And then decided to throw the terminology around without any pragmatic actionable advice behind it.)… Read more

Seven Habits of Highly Effective People – Habit 4: Think Win-Win

by 1 Comment

Continuing our series on the Seven Habits.

The first three habits are inward facing. Habits four through six are more interpersonal. And finally with the fourth habit, the title accurately describes it and I don’t have to explain what it really means. In relationships, business dealings, negotiations, and disputes, you should seek to find solutions where both you and the other party come out ahead.

Hooray!

But before we get to this, Covey has an interlude where he discusses the Paradigms of Interdependence. The key idea here is that between individuals, there is an emotional bank account. This is a measure of how much trust, love, and good will there is going in each direction.

Like this, but with love instead of bacon.

“Really seeking to understand another person is probably one of the most important deposits you can make, and it is the key to every other deposit … The little kindnesses and courtesies are so important.

… Read more

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People Habit Three: Put First Things First

by 4 Comments

Like the first two habits, the third’s title is somewhat unclear. This sounds like it is saying, “Do the most important things,” or “When performing a task, arrange the subtasks in a sensible order.”

In reality, this habit could better be rephrased as “Effectively manage your time in order to maximize your long-term outcomes.” 

Probably not the best way to manage your time.

Covey breaks activities up into four categories, or quadrants:

Quadrant I is important and urgent activities, such as handling crises, pressing problems, and deadline-driven projects.

Quadrant II is important but not urgent activities, such as prevention, building our power capacity, exercise, relationship building, recognizing new opportunities, planning, and recreation.*

Quadrant III is non-important but urgent activities, such as interruptions, some calls, some mail, some reports, some meetings, proximate pressing matters, and popular activities.*

Quadrant IV is non-important, non-urgent activities such as trivia, busywork, some mail, some phone calls, time wasters, and pleasant activities.*… Read more

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People – Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind

by 3 Comments

Continuing my deep dive into each of the Seven Habits. See Part One: Be Proactive.

This is another confusingly titled habit. You would assume that beginning with the end in mind means something like “Consider your end goal, and then work toward that goal.” Nope. 

Side note: If you actually follow this diagram, it appears to be a play designed to give the ball to the opposing team.

The End that Covey is referring to is your funeral. He asks you to imagine what you would want your family members, close friends, work colleagues, and church/civic community members to say about you. This ideal of what you want people to say about you at the end of your life should help you to determine your core principles.

That is the key focus of this habit: to live a principle-centered life.

No, Principle, not Principal.

“By keeping that end clearly in mind, you can make certain that whatever you do on any particular day does not violate the criteria you have defined as supremely important, and that each day of your life contributes in a meaningful way to the vision you have of your life as a whole… It’s incredibly easy to get caught up in an activity trap, in the busyness of life, to work harder and harder at climbing the ladder of success only to discover it’s leaning against the wrong wall.

… Read more

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People Habit 1: Be Proactive

by 6 Comments

I recently re-read the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey, for my book club. Since this is one of the classics of the self-help genre, I wanted to do a deep dive into it, and talk about each of the habits.

I believe in the importance of habits in self-improvement. But Covey is using a different definition of habit than how most people would think of it. You would typically think of a habit as something you regularly do. But the first six habits are more about how you think and who you are as a person.

This is fundamental to Covey’s approach. Most self-help books are external facing, in that they deal with actions and interactions with other people. But Seven Habits is more internal facing. Covey believes that our actions and the way we live our lives stems from our personal character, so this book is focused on helping the reader develop the right character ethic.… Read more