Self Helping Yourself

Self Improvement Made Easy

Fake Study Shows You Can’t Trust Nutrition Reporting

by Leave a Comment

You can't trust nutrition reporting - Chocolate shavings
Image by congerdesign from Pixabay

You can’t trust nutrition reporting.

Every day a new article announces a new “superfood.”

Coffee. Red wine. Goji berries. Quinoa. Eggs. Steak. Ginger.

They’ll help you lose weight. Sleep better. Live longer. Reduce cholesterol. Increase heart health. Lower stress. Make you smarter. Boost antioxidants and omega 3s. Give you psychic powers and levitation.

Or maybe not. Every other day, a different article says they’re terrible.

They contain hormones and antibiotics. They’re bad for the planet. Disrupt sleep patterns. Increase cortisol. Make you fat. Reduce brain capacity. Make your earlobes stink. Have gluten and carbs and transfat and were made in a facility with nuts. If your kids eat them you’re feeding them poison and are the Worst! Parent! Ever!

You can’t trust nutrition reporting

How do you know what information’s reliable?

Simple: None of it.

You can’t trust nutrition reporting at all.

Journalist and molecular biologist John Bohannon demonstrated why in an experiment, described in this Gizmodo article.… Read more

“Exercise and meditation, not pills” is dangerously misguided advice

by Leave a Comment

Don’t Discourage People From Seeking Mental Health Help

Exercise and meditation, not pills - Depressed woman with mirror
Photo by Alex Green from Pexels

Sometimes self-help, fitness, or meditation gurus suggest those with mental health struggles should use exercise and meditation, not pills.

This is dangerously misguided advice.

I mean dangerous literally.

This advice destroys people’s lives.

Mental health struggles are debilitating

Those who suggest “exercise and meditation, not pills” generally mean well.

They’re good people who believe they’re doing a service with their advice.

But if you’ve never dealt with a severe mental health problem – either in yourself or a close loved one – you don’t understand how debilitating these diseases are.

Major depression, anxiety, and other mental challenges make everything in life incredibly hard.

Often victims are incapable of leaving the house.

Sometimes they can’t even get out of bed. Or spend the entire day in the bathtub.

Guilt and social stigma

In addition to the direct effects of mental health challenges, victims often feel extreme guilt.… Read more

What’s Easy for Some is Difficult for Others

by 2 Comments

What's easy for some is hard for others - Magic cubes
Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay

What’s easy for some is difficult for others.

This seems obvious, but many tend to forget it.

Beyond knowledge and experience, there are different aptitudes and natural skillsets.

One person may intuitively grasp a task. While another may struggle no matter how much effort, study, and practice they put in.

That’s okay. Different people are good at different things.

But when helping someone, recognize there’s a reason they need help.

What they’re trying is difficult for them, even if you think it’s simple.

If you truly want to help, take the time to understand why they’re having difficulty. 

Then suggest solutions that are doable for someone who finds this hard, rather than solutions that work for someone with your level of skill.

We’re good at different things

Imagine Alice grew up tinkering with cars. It’s easy for her.

Bob has no mechanical aptitude and never touched a socket wrench.… Read more

Reward Good Behavior Instead of Criticizing Bad Behavior

by Leave a Comment

Reward good behavior - people cheering
Photo by Mikael Blomkvist from Pexels

Reward good behavior if you want someone to change.

Criticizing bad behavior is counterproductive.

Rewarding good behavior works for yourself and others. Whether learning a good habit or breaking a bad habit.

And rewarding good behavior convinces people to change.

Reward good behavior to make the right thing feel good

You don’t housebreak a dog by yelling at it for pooping inside. That makes it neurotic and afraid of humans. Instead, reward and praise it for pooping outside.

Reward good behavior - Doggies
These cuties, who my wife and I have been fostering and are mostly housebroken, are available for adoption in the West Tennessee area. (Photo by author.)

Obviously dogs aren’t people, but the same principle applies.

Being told “good job” feels good. People will repeat and build on that good behavior.

Being told ”bad job” feels bad. 

But rather than avoiding bad behavior, that makes people depressed and unmotivated.… Read more

It’s Okay to Quit – Sometimes it’s a Good Thing

by 3 Comments

It's Okay to Quit - Moving Forward
Image by Bluehouse Skis from Pixabay

It’s okay to quit.

I know that’s shocking to read on a self-improvement site.

We’re supposed to tell you to never give up.

“Those who succeed are those who persist.”

“You could be inches from striking gold.”

But in reality, quitting is often a good thing, and you absolutely should give up if:

  • What you’re doing is a bad idea.
  • It’s not working out.
  • It’s not right for you.
  • You’re miserable.
  • There are better uses for your time.
  • The chance of success is too low, or the consequences of failure too high.

Refusing to quit can be disastrous

I know this from personal experience.

I’ve previously told the story about how my father refused to quit.

He was determined to be mega-rich.

When things got tough he persisted, like motivational posters say.

He was so confident, he wouldn’t listen to “doubters and haters.”… Read more

7 Ways to Make 2021 a Year of Growth and Joy

by 4 Comments

Growth and joy - woman smiling contentedly.
Photo by nappy from Pexels

We’d all like 2021 to be a year of growth and joy.

Few would say 2020 went as expected. Many suffered tragedies. It was difficult for everyone.

As the year ends, it’s a time for a fresh beginning. Goodbye to the bad, and in with the new.

Here are some ways to make 2021 your year.

Bring growth and joy with a positive attitude

The easiest way to improve happiness is to focus on gratitude.

Keep a gratitude journal to remember how much is wonderful in the world. There’s an infinite amount to be grateful for.

Foster a positive attitude in general.

Kiss your loved ones. Dance for no reason. Do what makes you joyful.

Build the habit of joy, so it becomes your default.

Growth is much easier if you’re joyful.

Avoid complaining and resentment

The world has plenty of problems. Every individual has problems.… Read more

Optimism and Pessimism are Self-Fulfilling

by 2 Comments

Optimism and pessimism are self-fulfilling - glass half full
Image by Derek Robinson from Pixabay

Optimism and pessimism are self-fulfilling.

Think about how you see the world.

Are things generally improving, or going to hell in a handbasket?

And how do you see your own life?

Do you expect good things or bad things?

Whichever one you expect will tend to come true.

Psychology and action

This isn’t about the mystical, metaphysical, or Law of Attraction.

Optimism and pessimism are self-fulfilling because beliefs affect your actions, which change your results.

Optimists behave in ways that bring good results.

Achieving good results then makes them more optimistic, which leads to more good results.

Optimism is both self-fulfilling and self-reinforcing.

The same is true of pessimism.

Pessimists take actions that make bad results happen, which reinforces their pessimism in a vicious cycle.

Optimism and pessimism are self-fulfilling in dating

Take dating as an example.

We all know that bitter perpetually single person.… Read more

Interview With the Millennial Money Woman

by 1 Comment

The Millennial Money Woman
Image by The Millennial Money Woman, used with permission

The Millennial Money Woman (aka Fiona) is one of the hottest up-and-coming finance bloggers.

The Forbes contributor and one of DETAILED’s 50 Best Personal Finance Blogs has a knack for breaking down personal finance into clear, actionable advice.

Personal finance is a subject many find intimidating. Fiona’s straightforward, helpful, and accurate guidance is a breath of fresh air amidst a sea of confusing or bad advice.

Self-Helping Yourself is about self-improvement made easy. Part of improving your life is improving your finances. The Millennial Money Woman helps you do that.

While I’ve previously explained investing the right way is incredibly simple, and suggested incredibly easy ways to improve your finances, The Millennial Money Woman covers a much wider range of topics and goes far more in depth.

I highly recommend reading her blog, following her on Twitter (@The_MMW) and Pinterest, and subscribing to her newsletter.… Read more

Take Control Over Your Own Life With Two Phrases

by 3 Comments

Control over your own life - Choose happy
Image by AnnemarieDeloo from Pixabay

Control over your own life is a huge factor in life-satisfaction.

Those who forge their own destiny tend to be pleased with life. Those at the mercy of other people, fate, or the universe tend to be miserable.

What separates those who have control over their own life from those who don’t?

Control over your own life comes from within

One of my rules to live by is:

If you believe you have control over your own life, that’s true. If you believe you don’t have control over your own life, that’s also true. These are both self-fulfilling prophecies.

Obviously external forces create an unequal playing field. Some face a much harder situation than others.

Still, each individual has a choice: They can control their own life, or they can let the world control them.

For example, in my book The Weight Loss Habit I say to accept that it’s unfair, then take ownership over your weight regardless. … Read more

Delightful December Can Make You Happier

by 3 Comments

Delightful December - Smiling woman with computer
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Delightful December is a challenge to make yourself happier by eliminating negativity and focusing on the positive on social media.

There are two parts to Delightful December:

  1. Avoid saying anything negative on social media for the month of December.
  1. Every day in December, post the following:
  • Something you’re grateful for
  • Something in the last day that made you happy
  • Something you’re looking forward to in the upcoming day

The purpose of Delightful December

One of the most well-supported ideas in psychology/self-improvement is that a gratitude journal will dramatically improve your mood.

When you write what you’re grateful for, you train yourself to focus on reasons to be happy. Which makes you happier.

But most people treat social media as an ingratitude journal.

They complain, mock, insult, and argue. They focus on all that is wrong in the world. Which trains them to be miserable.… Read more