Continuing our series on the Seven Habits.
- Habit One: Be Proactive
- Habit Two: Begin With the End in Mind
- Habit Three: Put First Things First
- Habit Four: Think Win-Win
Habit Five, “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood,” is about empathic communication.
Covey points out that when people are communicating, they are generally focusing on making the other party understand their point of view. But they aren’t trying to understand the other person.
“‘Seek first to understand’ involves a very deep shift in the paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They’re either speaking or preparing to speak. They’re filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people’s lives.”
To be more effective, your initial focus needs to be on understanding the other person. But even when trying to understand what the other person is saying, most people still don’t quite get it, because they are filtering it through their own perspective and experience.… Read more