I saw a meme recently that really struck me: It said “The antidote to negativity is not positivity, it’s warmth.”
I think in some ways this is very true, and in some ways is very untrue.
Let’s first talk about how it’s true: If someone is feeling sad or depressed*, it’s not helpful to tell them to “cheer up.” That just invalidates their feelings, which either adds a sense of frustration to the difficulty that they’re already experiencing, or else adds a sense of self-loathing for their failure to feel the way people tell them they’re supposed to be feeling. Of course they’d rather be happy than sad. Telling them to do that isn’t going to make them magically accomplish it.
Instead, the most helpful thing you can do for someone who is feeling sad or depressed is offer them warmth: A friendly ear, a hug, taking them out for coffee.… Read more