Don’t Discourage People From Seeking Mental Health Help
Sometimes self-help, fitness, or meditation gurus suggest those with mental health struggles should use exercise and meditation, not pills.
This is dangerously misguided advice.
I mean dangerous literally.
This advice destroys people’s lives.
Mental health struggles are debilitating
Those who suggest “exercise and meditation, not pills” generally mean well.
They’re good people who believe they’re doing a service with their advice.
But if you’ve never dealt with a severe mental health problem – either in yourself or a close loved one – you don’t understand how debilitating these diseases are.
Major depression, anxiety, and other mental challenges make everything in life incredibly hard.
Often victims are incapable of leaving the house.
Sometimes they can’t even get out of bed. Or spend the entire day in the bathtub.
Guilt and social stigma
In addition to the direct effects of mental health challenges, victims often feel extreme guilt.
They blame themselves for their illness.
Feel like a burden.
Internalize the social stigma attached to their disease.
They feel bad about feeling bad.
And that unearned shame makes their lives even harder.
Mental health challenges are treatable diseases
The good news is that these diseases are treatable.
The right medication will help most people.
Give them their life back.
They can get out of bed.
Leave the house.
Get a job.
Find love.
Experience joy.
Often for the first time in decades.
Mental health victims often don’t seek treatment
But though these diseases are treatable, many victims don’t seek help.
Because their disease stops them.
They can’t get out of bed.
They’ve given up.
They’re afraid of doctors.
Trying to navigate the bureaucracy to book an appointment is too triggering.
But the biggest barrier is the stigma – the sense of shame.
Instead of recognizing they have a treatable disease, they blame themselves for the disease.
They think they should tough it out, figure out how to get better on their own, or hide their problems from the world.
Society told them if they go to a doctor for pills, that makes them shameful, a failure, a loser.
And this makes their disease even worse.
Telling someone “exercise and meditation, not pills” causes real harm
Which brings us back to the misguided advice of “exercise and meditation, not pills.”
That throws up another wall of shame.
It puts the burden on the victims of the disease.
And discourages them even more from getting the help they need.
It’s also incredibly unrealistic.
If they can’t get out of bed, they can’t go to the gym.
Someone whose mind constantly tells them terrible things can’t meditate.
Insisting someone with mental health problems do something they’re not capable of only makes them feel worse.
It’s certainly true that exercise and meditation improve your mood. But only for people who are capable of exercise and meditation in the first place.
Of course it would be better if people could cure their mental health diseases without medication. But that’s not going to happen.
And when you tell them “exercise and meditation, not pills,” you discourage them from seeking the help that could give them their life back.
No matter how good your intentions, you are actively wrecking their life.
Destigmatizing mental health struggles
I believe in destigmatizing mental health struggles. They’re treatable diseases and nothing to be ashamed of.
So I’ll tell you I know all this from experience.
I suffer from depression and anxiety.
Before I was medicated, I’d often disappear into a fog.
Withdraw from the world.
Once I was on the right medication – Wellbutrin, Topamax, and Zoloft – The fog lifted from my brain.
I have a mild case. My medication fully treats it. Others have it far worse.
My wife has severe Bipolar Type II, PTSD, anxiety, and ADHD.
She spent an entire year living in the bathtub.
Unable to leave the house.
See people.
Have a job.
Or experience any sort of joy.
During this time, she hid the extent of her suffering – including from me.
She felt guilt and shame. Like it was her fault she had this disease. And she should be able to fix it.
By toughing it out, exercising, and meditating.
Then we found a good psychiatrist, who properly diagnosed her, and prescribed the right medication.
And everything changed. It was like a magic potion lifted her curse.
She became herself again.
She still has difficulties. Her medications – Wellbutrin, Lamictal, Propranolol, and Xanax – don’t make her fully normal.
But she can hold down a job, leave the house, see people, and most importantly, experience joy.
It’s still hard for her to let go of the resentment of how much of her life was stolen from her.
By her disease.
By social stigma that said her disease was her fault.
By bad doctors who failed to properly diagnose her.
And those who suggested exercise instead of medication.
Don’t be part of the problem
So please, don’t be part of the problem.
Part of the stigma.
Robbing people like her of their life.
No matter how good your intentions, when you suggest “exercise and meditation, not pills,” you destroy lives.
One more thing:
There’s a certain kind of person who doesn’t have good intentions. Who isn’t trying to be helpful.
Instead, their “advice” is really an effort to smugly prove their superiority.
They’re saying, “Well I exercise and meditate, so I’m better than those losers who rely on pills.”
These people are obnoxious jerks and bullies.
If you’re reading this article, that probably doesn’t describe you.
But how much does your advice differ from what a bully trying to prove his superiority would say?
No matter how good your intentions, if your advice is indistinguishable from a bully’s cruelty, you should probably rethink it.
That’s why armchair psychiatrists shouldn’t discourage those with mental health challenges from seeking the professional help and medication they need.
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