Optimism and Pessimism are Self-Fulfilling

Optimism and pessimism are self-fulfilling.

Think about how you see the world.

Are things generally improving, or going to hell in a handbasket?

And how do you see your own life?

Do you expect good things or bad things?

Whichever one you expect will tend to come true.

Psychology and action

This isn’t about the mystical, metaphysical, or Law of Attraction.

Optimism and pessimism are self-fulfilling because beliefs affect your actions, which change your results.

Optimists behave in ways that bring good results.

Achieving good results then makes them more optimistic, which leads to more good results.

Optimism is both self-fulfilling and self-reinforcing.

The same is true of pessimism.

Pessimists take actions that make bad results happen, which reinforces their pessimism in a vicious cycle.

Optimism and pessimism are self-fulfilling in dating

Take dating as an example.

We all know that bitter perpetually single person. Man or woman, they constantly whine about the opposite sex.

Convinced they can’t find love, they stop trying.

Maybe you offer to set them up, but they dismiss the person you suggest. “He’s too short.” “She’s too fat.” “They have the wrong job/education/income/taste in movies/Hogwarts house/favorite vegetable.”

After a few attempts, you stop trying to fix them up.

Or maybe you avoid matchmaking entirely because of their toxic attitude.

If they do meet someone, they’re bitter, clingy, and neurotic, which is unattractive and scares people away.

Or they’ll stay in bad relationships because their pessimism convinces them they can’t do better.

Contrast that with an optimist.

They put themselves out there, open to a variety of people. They’re enthusiastic about matchmaking offers. Their confidence and self-respect are attractive. They’ll leave someone who’s not right for them to look for a better fit.

I’m not looking down on those who struggle with dating. It’s easy to fall into this trap. I’ve fallen victim to it myself.

It’s natural for repeated failure to lead to pessimism. But you can only escape the trap through hopefulness and positivity. You need to expect success to achieve it.

Optimism and pessimism are self-fulfilling in your career

The same is true for other areas of life.

In my former life in corporate finance, a top employee once came to me asking for a raise.

I already wanted to increase his salary. But the company was in a cash crunch, and nobody was getting more money.

Once he asked, I explained to the CEO how disastrous it would be if he left. We couldn’t risk making him unhappy by denying the raise.

It got approved the same day.

By being optimistic and asking for what he deserved, he got a salary increase.

Had he been pessimistic, he wouldn’t have asked, and wouldn’t have gotten the raise. So his pessimism would have been justified.

Optimists ask for raises. They seek out opportunities. They move to new and better jobs.

Pessimists cling to their current situation no matter how bad. They don’t advocate for themselves, so nobody else does either. They end up stuck, with no hope of progress.

The optimism and pessimism are self-fulfilling.

Optimism and pessimism impact how others treat you

Nobody likes a Debbie Downer.

Those who always see the worst of everything are unpleasant to be around.

When they reject help because they assume it won’t work, people stop offering to help.

And pessimists tend to assume others will fail, are stupid, or have bad motives. This makes others dislike them.

Which makes everything in life harder.

Whereas optimists are pleasant to be around. They see good in others, encourage them, and help ensure their success. They seek out opportunities for themselves and their friends.

Then their friends reciprocate, making life easier and more joyful.

Optimists are resilient while pessimists give up

Obviously a good attitude doesn’t guarantee everything goes your way. Everyone has setbacks.

When something goes wrong for a pessimist, it validates their belief that everything is awful.

They see it as proof they’re failures, so they give up. And giving up means they’ve indeed failed.

“You tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”

Homer Simpson

When something doesn’t work out for an optimist, it’s just a short-term problem to overcome. They try again, learn from it, or do things differently.

When you see problems as temporary setbacks rather than permanent failures, you give yourself more opportunities to succeed.

Optimists are open to opportunities and risks

Optimists are much better at spotting and developing opportunities.

The person next to you on a plane could be a new client, friend, or romantic partner. It’s worth striking up a conversation.

The pessimist assumes there’s no opportunity, only unpleasantness. That person on the plane is probably annoying, so keep your headphones in and avoid eye contact.

Then there’s risk. How much risk people should take is complicated, but in general, humans are too risk-averse.

The optimist takes a chance assuming it will work out, and they’re often correct.

The pessimist stays in a miserable situation because they’re sure any change would only make things worse.

Of course it’s possible to take stupid risks or cling to obviously bad ideas out of irrational optimism. But since humans start off with a bias toward negativity, this is a rare problem to have.

Optimism and pessimism are self-fulfilling through the way you see the world

Optimism and pessimism are also self-fulfilling through internal psychology.

How you view the world has enormous impact on your happiness.

Pessimists seek out reasons to be unhappy. An optimist will see an event as good while a pessimist sees the same event as bad.

The pessimist ignores evidence of the good, and focuses only on what’s wrong. They’ll even invent evidence of the bad to bolster their belief.

If you’re determined to be unhappy, you’ll find reasons to make yourself unhappy. But why would you want that as a goal?

This explains the great paradox of the modern age: By every reasonable measure, the world’s the best it’s ever been, and rapidly improving even more. Despite the temporary setback of COVID. And the gains for the poorest and most marginalized have been the largest.

Yet most believe everything is terrible and getting worse.

While the belief that the world is awful is mistaken, the unhappiness and despair this belief causes is very real.

People convince themselves their life is futile. There’s no hope. Nothing they do will work out.

Then they act to ensure this belief comes true. They become the architect of their own misery.

Break the cycle by believing in yourself and the future

That is why it’s important to recognize that optimism and pessimism are self-fulfilling. 

Because of the impact your attitude, behavior, and actions have on your life.

If you have an optimistic outlook, you will make good things happen, and be happy.

If you have a pessimistic outlook, you will make bad things happen, and be miserable.

It’s your choice which one you want.