Incredibly Easy Ways to Be Happier continues the series on Incredibly Easy Ways to Improve Your Life.
See here for what this series is about, and scroll to the bottom or click here for a list of other entries in the series. Also see the end of the post for details on submitting your own incredibly easy life-improvements.
Note: Some links here are affiliate links, meaning I get a small commission when you purchase them, at no additional charge to you. I only suggest things I honestly believe in.
Incredibly Easy Ways to Be Happier
Happiness is the single most important aspect of self-improvement.
Every other self-help endeavor – productivity, health, finances, relationships, and achieving your goals – they’re ultimately in service to making you happy. If that’s not the end result, what’s the point?
But a lot of self-help advice, especially that coming from super-achievers, ignores this.
In fact, trying to follow the wrong sort of advice will make you actively unhappy.
By contrast, the best advice improves your happiness directly. And it’s even better if it can improve your happiness without effort or willpower, and with minimal time commitment.
Like these suggestions.
1. Be kind and respectful to people, whether or not they “deserve it.”
When you’re kind and respectful to people, it puts you in a good mood.
It gives you a positive outlook on the world.
Helps you see the best in people.
Makes it easier to make friends.
And it makes other people like you, so they’ll be more kind and respectful toward you in return, and more willing to help you out.
This is true even when they’re strangers.
Or they support that politician you hate who does all those awful things.
It’s even true when they’re jerks who’ve been mean and disrespectful toward you.
By contrast, when you’re mean and disrespectful, it puts you in a foul mood, gives you a negative outlook, and turns you into a jerk that nobody likes.
It’s pretty clear which one is better.
2. Make out with your romantic partner daily.
If you’re married or living with your partner, passionately kiss each other every day.
I’m talking full-on making out, groping each other like horny teens discovering another person’s body for the first time.
Do this separate from sex. Just spontaneously when you meet your partner in a hallway or something.
(Though you should also do this in a sexual context.)
It will strengthen your relationship and connection.
It will make you happier.
And it’s just plain fun.
3. Smile more
The connection between your mind and body goes both ways.
When you’re happy, you smile.
But also, smiling makes you happy.
Just making a conscious effort to smile more will improve your mood.
You could even hold a pencil in your teeth to force you to smile. (Though not in public, since you’ll look ridiculous.)
One caveat to this: If you’re a man, please don’t give this advice unsolicited. Everyone hates men who tell women to smile.
4. Curate your social media
Social media algorithms are designed to promote hate, arguments, and mental-health destroying garbage.
I won’t tell you to avoid social media entirely.
(Besides, you should follow me on Twitter.)
But a little bit of effort to curate your feeds can dramatically improve your happiness.
I wrote an article last year on how to avoid arguments on Facebook.
With Twitter, it’s even easier to clean up your feed far more dramatically. With the right strategies, you can eliminate 99% of the garbage with less than 10 minutes of effort.
Self Promotion Interlude
I wrote a guide on how to do this.
It walks you through the exact steps to eliminate all the unwanted stuff from your Twitter feed.
Do you use Twitter but wish you didn’t have to see all the hate, politics, and garbage? Or did you previously use Twitter, but quit because of all the crap? Then this is what you need.
It’s only $2.99. I guarantee a dramatic improvement to your Twitter experience within two weeks, or your money back.
End Self-Promotion
5. When feeling overwhelmed by an intractable problem, improve the world in some tangible way. (Even if it’s unrelated)
A healthy way to respond to a problem that you can’t help with is to help with something else.
You personally can’t cure COVID.
Instead, make a Kiva loan to a poverty stricken farmer in Africa.
It won’t fix COVID, but it is making a real person’s life really better.
So you can feel good about yourself, knowing you’re helping the world.
This also works in your individual life.
If you’re overwhelmed by a personal problem that you have no idea how to handle – say, a loved one’s terminal illness, or a terrible divorce – do some mundane chore that will make a tangible and visible difference in your home.
Wash the dishes, or tidy your bedroom.
It will make you feel more in control, which makes you feel better.
I wrote more about this here.
6. Keep a gratitude journal
Keep a notebook on your nightstand. Every night before bed, write down three things you’re grateful for.
They could be good things that happened, or someone who did a nice thing for you.
If you had a lousy day or can’t think of anything, write down something general.
Like you have good health. A family that cares about you. Access to clean water and functioning toilets. Or you’re grateful for your socks.
Everyone has plenty of things to be grateful for if you think about it.
It will take under 2 minutes, and massively improve your mood.
7. Make reminders be more positive and less negative
Happiness has far more to do with outlook than circumstances.
There are miserable billionaires, and there are blissful people in poverty-stricken villages.
Every time you think or express something negative, you’re training yourself to be unhappy.
Every time you think or express something positive, you’re training yourself to be happy.
Changing your entire outlook isn’t easy, but there are easy things you can do to move in the right direction.
Stick a post-it on your computer monitor that says “Be positive,” to remind you that’s a goal you should aim for.
Put text saying “be positive” on your phone’s background. (Though it’s also good to make your phone’s background a photo that makes you happy, like your spouse, kids, or pet.)
Set alerts on your phone, watch, or computer to periodically tell you to be positive.
Or wear a bracelet that you call your “Positivity bracelet.” So every time you notice it, it’s a reminder to be positive.
8. Keep a “Done” list
(Submitted by Rae Majka)
Lots of people write to-do lists. The downside of these is that it can be stressful to see a long list of tasks you need to complete.
Instead (or also), keep a “done” list, where you track the things you’ve finished.
It will make you feel good about yourself.
You’ll have a tangible reminder of how much progress you’ve made.
And it will motivate you to move forward, knowing you’ll get the satisfaction of adding something to the Done List.
9. Spend money on experiences, not objects
They say that money can’t buy happiness.
(Who are “They?” I’ve never figured that out.)
That’s both true and false.
Buying physical objects won’t make you happy.
If you get a fancy new car, watch or stereo, you’ll be excited about it for a few days.
But then you’ll get used to it. Any happiness from it will be gone. You’ll start to want something even better.
If you know someone with a higher-end model, the thing you were so excited about will seem inferior and disappointing.
And if it doesn’t live up to your expectations, buying an item you’re excited about can even make you unhappy.
On the other hand, buying experiences, does make you happy.
When you book a vacation, cooking class, or escape room, you have the anticipation ahead of time.
You enjoy it while it’s happening.
And you have memories after. You get to tell friends about the experience.
Memories become incorporated into your identity in a way that physical objects don’t.
So spend that extra cash on fun stuff to do, not fancy stuff to have.
10. Use visual pattern-matching games to fight anxiety or anger
Humans’ primary sense is vision, and this is where the human brain dedicates a large portion of its processing power.
When you play visual pattern-matching puzzle games, your brain dedicates so many resources to them that it doesn’t leave room for much else.
This is why games like Candy Crush, Tetris, and offline games like Set and jigsaw puzzles are so addictive. Why they can create time holes where you play them for hours without noticing.
But you can use this to your advantage.
When you start feeling an anxiety attack, anger, or hunger cravings, playing one of these games will get rid of it.
Focusing on the game will crowd out the negative thoughts that were threatening to overwhelm you.
Just make sure to set a timer to remind you to stop.
(Note: I learned this from SuperBetter: The Power of Living Gamefully by Jane McGonigal, which I highly recommend.)
Conclusion: Incredibly Easy Ways to Be Happy are the Best Improvements to Make
I hope you found this list of incredibly easy ways to be happy helpful.
Each of the items on this list should be things you can implement right away, without relying on willpower.
And they should significantly improve your mood.
Do you have any thoughts on the items on this list?
Or suggestions of others to add?
I’d love to hear from you.
If you have suggestions of incredibly easy ways to be happier, or any other ways to improve your life, please send them to me so I can include them in a future entry. You can comment here, e-mail stevenraymarks at gmail.com, or tweet/DM to @YourselfHelping. I’ll give credit, and if you wish, link to your (family-friendly, non-scammy) Blog/webpage/product.
Other entries in the Incredibly Easy series:
- The Incredibly Simple, One-Sentence Guide to Investing
- 10 Incredibly Easy Ways to Improve Your Health
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