A couple years ago, I wrote up a list of “Things I Wish I Knew.” These were various pieces of wisdom that I’ve come to realize by my early 40s, that I hadn’t figured out when I was younger, and which would have made me happier had I known them sooner.
I thought it might be interesting to share that list.
Note that there’s significant crossover between this list and my “Rules to Live By” page, because as I’ve grown and figured stuff out, I’ve tried to incorporate that into my life.
Also, I apologize in advance if this list comes off a bit arrogant and holier-than-thou. Note that this list is all things that I’ve gotten wrong in the past, and I am genuinely wiser, and have more perspective and life-experience than my younger self. Please don’t take that as me being condescending or dismissive/insulting toward my readers.
And if you disagree with any of these items, that’s okay. People are allowed to have different beliefs and perspectives.
- You don’t know everything.
- Dreams are worthless without action.
- Don’t argue on the internet.
- Don’t even be negative on the internet.
- It’s okay to be normal.
- It’s not all that important to be right.
- When it comes to success, hustle is more important than intelligence.
- Happiness is more important than success.
- Any knowledge that doesn’t translate into practical skills for being productive or living better is just entertainment. There’s nothing wrong with that, but don’t pretend that being a fan of knowledge makes you superior to fans of any other form of entertainment.
- Don’t crap on other people’s joy or beliefs.
- There are lots of things wrong with the world. Pointing that out doesn’t make you clever. That’s just whining.
- If you’re struggling with something and want advice, don’t ask someone really good at it. Ask someone who struggled and then succeeded. You’ll get better weight loss advice from a formerly fat person than a personal trainer.
- The best and easiest way to lose weight and keep it off is to eat the food you would normally eat, just less of it.
- Incredibly successful people give terrible advice, because they forget that they are extremely talented and/or extremely lucky. Trying to emulate them will work terribly for normal people.
- Less is more when trying to make a point. Extra examples/evidence makes an argument less persuasive.
- Don’t rank yourself or other people.
- When in college, study something that will give you practical skills.
- Unless you’re applying to grad school, your grades don’t matter once you leave college.
- If a woman you are interested in ever talks to you about a guy she is dating or interested in, that means she is never, ever, going to date you. Give up and move on.
- Never date, or attempt to date, someone you wouldn’t be friends with.
- Don’t be spiteful.
- Hatred and anger hurt you more than the person you hate or are angry at.
- You suffer from the same flaws as everyone else.
- It’s better to adapt than to complain about an unfair system.
- It’s always better to be polite and friendly.
- Everyone always thinks that they are right.
- You don’t know more than the experts.
- If you think a persistent problem in the world, business, government, organizations, etc. has a simple solution, that means you don’t understand it.
- You are definitely wrong about many things. You just don’t know which things.
- People don’t like being ashamed or feeling like a fool. This means that when you present compelling evidence they have been shameful or foolish, they go into denial as a defense mechanism and double down on their shameful/foolish beliefs or behavior. The more compelling your evidence, the harder they’ll push back. This is one of the many reasons why the vast majority or arguments go beyond futile and are actively counterproductive, especially if you are in the right. For example, any time you argue with an anti-vaxxer, you are perversely making them even more of an anti-vaxxer.
What are some things you’ve learned and figured out as you got older you wish you knew when you were younger?
[…] generally good and decent.” “Don’t attack or blame people.” It also ties into some of the Things I Wish I Knew: “Don’t be spiteful.” “You suffer from the same flaws as everyone else.” “It’s always […]