Self Helping Yourself

Self Improvement Made Easy

Archives for December 2019

Genial January

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What if I told you there was a quick and easy way to significantly improve your happiness, that would take absolutely no time out of your busy day. In fact, it will even give you an extra bit of free time.

One of the most common pieces of advice in happiness literature is to keep a gratitude journal. That’s not what I’m talking about here. (I do recommend a gratitude journal – it only takes a few minutes a day. But that advice is hardly novel, and I promised you something that takes no time at all.)

Let’s talk about why gratitude journals work. When you build a habit of sitting down every day to think about someone or something you are grateful for, you are training yourself to focus on what is good in your life. This shift in your perspective will make you happier overall.

By contrast, many people treat social media (especially Facebook) as a sort of ingratitude journal.… Read more

It’s Okay to Not Have an Opinion

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Here are three questions for you:

1. What is the best technique for performing brain surgery.

2. What is the best engine design for a rocket to Mars.

3. What is the best way to bring about peace in the Middle East.

Most people are willing to admit that they don’t know the answers to the first two questions. There’s a reason “rocket scientist” and “brain surgeon” are slang for really smart people. If there were a debate going on about these subjects among actual brain surgeons or rocket scientists, and they were to ask your input, you would be comfortable admitting that you had no opinion on the matter and weren’t qualified to respond.

The alternative would be pretty silly. Picture these brilliant experts discussing concepts you have zero comprehension of. You don’t even understand half the words they’re using. Then you spout off a bunch of complete gibberish to the people who know far more than you, and insist that if they disagree they’re evil and stupid.… Read more

How the Phantom Menace Destroyed a Generation

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With a new Star Wars movie coming out this weekend, I’ve received a request to repost what was probably the most popular article from my old defunct movie blog, CinemaBadger. (Feel free to poke around there. I haven’t regularly updated it in three and a half years, but there’s lots of interesting content.)

While this is about movies, it’s also about psychology, so it’s apt for this blog.

Originally Published December 17, 2015 (Just before the release of Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens)

I think now is a good time to reflect upon how fundamentally weird it is that after this weekend, Star Wars will never be the same.

Imagine a devout Christian learning that an additional testament to the bible has just been discovered. They don’t know if this newer testament will be good or bad, whether it will be in keeping with what spoke to them regarding the previous testament, whether it will be full of excellent moral guidance or a disillusioning disappointment.… Read more

Specialization is for Insects

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“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.

Specialization is for insects.“

This is a quote from the science fiction writer Robert Heinlein, from the 1973 book Time Enough for Love. 

I agree with the overall point, but when you look at the specific examples, some of them seem like real head-scratchers in today’s world. You have to remember that Heinlein was writing this from his own context. He grew up on a farm, then was in the Navy, in general had a somewhat militaristic mindset, and was writing this 50 years ago.

The world has moved more toward specialization in the last half-century, and that’s a good thing.… Read more

Book Review: Make Time by Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky

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I recently read the book Make Time by Jack Knapp and John Zeratsky.

The book is about how you can reprioritize your time to accomplish more of what’s important. People spend too much of their days on what the authors call the “busy bandwagon,” spinning their wheels without having much to show for it. The book gives a bunch of techniques that it says will help you spend your time more wisely.

The main strategy is that every day you should plan out a “highlight,” which is the most important thing you want to accomplish that day, and schedule a specific time to do it. Then make sure you have no distractions during that time block.

It also argues that you really want to maintain “Laser Focus,” or stick to doing one thing at a time. Don’t pause your work to check e-mail, or Facebook, or to do some other work.… Read more

The Complaining Game

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I hope those of you in America had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday, were able to reflect on your gratitude for all that you have to be thankful for, and remembered that love for your family and friends is more important than arguing over any petty differences. And for you non-Americans, I hope that you have a delightful ordinary non-holiday weekend.

With Thanksgiving wrapping up, let’s talk about the opposite of thankfulness: Complaining.

When we were babies, complaining was one of the few methods we had for exercising influence over the world. If we were tired, or hungry, or wanted a toy, or had a poopy diaper, we would cry about it until a grown-up solved the problem for us.

As we became older children, with control over our own bodies and growing mental faculties, we had enough self-efficacy to handle some small issues, such as using the bathroom on our own or making a bowl of cereal when we were hungry.… Read more