Three Dumb Sounding Life-Hacks That Work

I’m usually not a fan of so-called “Life-hacks.” They typically are weird convoluted processes invented by socially awkward people with no conception of how normal people actually live. I mean, I’m a socially awkward person, but I try to have some recognition of normalcy.

But I have figured out a few simple things you can do that sound silly, which will make your life better, and I figured I’d share them here:

1. Wear orange glasses before bed

You’ve probably heard the advice to avoid looking at screens two hours before bedtime. Screens produce blue light, which sends signals to your brain that disrupt your sleep cycle.

But two hours before bed is the best time to look at screens! I mean, avoiding them may be easy for the kinds of people who write self-help books and set their own schedules. But not so much for us normies. The best shows are on. It’s dark outside. We’re winding down. The kids are in bed. We want to check Facebook or play a video game or binge something on Netflix. Or maybe we want to work on our side hustle. Are we supposed to just waste that time, or read a book or talk to someone like a cave man?

If only there was a stupidly easy way where you could could look at screens all you want, while getting all the health benefits of avoiding blue light before bedtime, and the only downside was that you would look slightly silly in your own home.

There is:

Wearing orange glasses.

Orange glasses filter out blue light. That’s it. Problem solved. It’s as easy as that.

About five years ago, I bought some $8 orange safety glasses off Amazon, and it changed my life. I used to have terrible insomnia. I started wearing them before bedtime, and I was instantly cured. Boom.

And as a bonus, if I’m doing work around the house, they also function as actual safety glasses.

2. Make your razors last ten times as long

Whether you’re a man shaving your face or a woman shaving your legs/pits, buying razors and cartridges is an annoyance. Do you get the cheap blades and deal with constant nicks, or the expensive blades that drain your wallet, or subscribe to one of those mail-order services that sends you too many blades and also drains your wallet once the discount you got from that podcast runs out? (Unless you’re a dude who goes with the hipster/lumberjack/Gandalf beard, or a woman who goes au naturale, in which case, you can skip this one.)

If only there was a stupidly easy way where buying razor blades was something you only had to think about every few years instead of monthly.

There is:

First of all, get an expensive razor and a pack of blades. The ones that are $2 – $3 a cartridge. It’s a big cash outlay now, but it will be years before you have to buy any more. I use Schick Hydro Five. My wife uses Gillette Venus.

When the blade starts to get dull, run it backwards on your upper arm about 20 times. When a blade gets dull, what’s really happening is that there are microscopic bends and warps in the edge. Running it backwards on your arm straightens these out, which sharpens the blades. Now your razor is good as new, and you can keep using it. You can repeat this 5 – 10 times before you need to replace the cartridge.

Sometimes when I explain this, people are worried they’ll cut themselves. If you’re worried about that, you aren’t visualizing it correctly. Imagine that you’re shaving your upper arm with the razor. Now play that imaginary video in reverse. That’s what you should be doing.

3. Never worry about matching socks again

This tip is more for the men, or at least those who follow traditional Western male fashion. Though women may be able to partially use it.

Matching socks is a pain in the patootie. On laundry day you’ve got to sort them, and then either knot them or roll them in a ball (which wears them out.) Or you skip that on laundry day, and have to dig through the drawer to find matching socks every time you’re getting ready. Plus, whenever one sock wears out or gets eaten by the monster in the back of the dryer, that means you’ve got to throw away two socks, even if its partner is still in perfect shape.

If only there were a way to skip all this hassle.

There is:

First, throw away all of your socks. Actually, donate the ones that are still in good shape to a worthy charity. But the point is to get rid of them. Yes, this seems wasteful, but it will be worth it.

Then go out and buy a whole bunch of identical white socks, identical brown socks, and identical black socks.

Actually, reverse the order of those two steps, so you aren’t going to the store barefoot.

Then when you do laundry, you can just dump all your socks in a drawer without having to sort them. When you get dressed, just grab any two random socks of the same color. You don’t have to worry about matching them. When one sock wears out or gets a hole in it, just throw that one away, and you don’t have to throw a second sock away. It makes your life so much easier.

And every few years, as your supply of socks get depleted or they get worn out or fade, repeat this process. Throw them all away/donate them, and start over with a new bunch of identical socks.

It makes your life so much easier.

How about you? Do you have any stupid sounding life hacks that really work and have actually improved the way you live?