Continuing my deep dive into each of the Seven Habits. See Part One: Be Proactive.
This is another confusingly titled habit. You would assume that beginning with the end in mind means something like “Consider your end goal, and then work toward that goal.” Nope.
The End that Covey is referring to is your funeral. He asks you to imagine what you would want your family members, close friends, work colleagues, and church/civic community members to say about you. This ideal of what you want people to say about you at the end of your life should help you to determine your core principles.
That is the key focus of this habit: to live a principle-centered life.
“By keeping that end clearly in mind, you can make certain that whatever you do on any particular day does not violate the criteria you have defined as supremely important, and that each day of your life contributes in a meaningful way to the vision you have of your life as a whole… It’s incredibly easy to get caught up in an activity trap, in the busyness of life, to work harder and harder at climbing the ladder of success only to discover it’s leaning against the wrong wall. It’s possibly to be busy – very busy – without being very effective.”
We need to make sure that we are using our imagination and conscience to actively choose our course in life, based on our internal principles, rather than aimlessly sleepwalking through life or following a script imposed on us by others.
Covey suggests writing a personal mission statement to ensure that you are acting according to your personal principles. He says this ought to be a lengthy process involving a lot of self-reflection of what is important to you. An example of a personal mission statement, from Covey’s friend Rolfe Kerr, is:
- Succeed at home first.
- Seek and merit divine help.
- Never compromise with honesty.
- Remember the people involved.
- Hear both sides before judging.
- Obtain counsel of others.
- Defend those who are absent.
- Be sincere yet decisive.
- Develop one new proficiency a year.
- Plan tomorrow’s work today.
- Hustle while you wait.
- Maintain a positive attitude.
- Keep a sense of humor.
- Be orderly in person and in work.
- Do not fear mistakes – fear only the absence of creative, constructive, and corrective responses to those mistakes.
- Facilitate the success of subordinates.
- Listen twice as much as you speak.
- Concentrate all abilities and efforts on the task at hand, not worrying about the next job or presentation.
In contrast to living a principle-centered life, Covey gives examples of other common centers that people base their lives around: Their spouse, their family, money, work, possessions, pleasure, friends, enemies, church, or self. These will all lead to unhappy and unfulfilled lives. But when you are principle-centered, you will have confidence that your actions are based on what is best.
So what is the skeptical view on this? Well, there certainly is a lot to the idea that we should decide on the life we want to live rather than sleepwalking or following a script imposed on us. And I do think it is very easy to fall into the trap of centering your life around one of the alternatives that Covey brought up. It is good to every so often examine your life and make sure you are on the path you want to be on.
But I found the whole personal mission statement idea a bit wonky. If you look at the example Covey gave, it all just boils down to “Be a good person.” It’s a list of cliches you’d expect to see on some insipid motivational poster called “101 pieces of advice from grandma.”
Now, I have my Rules to Live By page on this blog, but the rules I list there aren’t totally generic stuff that pretty much anyone would tell you, and I don’t think of that list of rules as defining my life the way a mission statement would.
Instead of this personal mission statement, I think a similar but more helpful exercise would be to write up a list of behaviors, habits, and attitudes you would like to have, but struggle with. Don’t bother with the stuff that’s easy for you. Then from time to time, review that list, and remind yourself to work toward the items on it.
I don’t see much point in defining yourself by a bunch of cliches. But improving yourself – that’s worthwhile.
Next: Habit 3: Put First Things First.
[…] Next: Habit Two: Begin With the End in Mind. […]